Alternatives for African American Women
Dating outside your race? Thoughts and comments maybe you have experience with this issue.
Posted by LASC Instructor at November 12, 2011 1:02 PM 
Categories: Education college university degree graduate employment, Education college university degree, Education learning teaching skills college instructional strategies
Categories: Education college university degree graduate employment, Education college university degree, Education learning teaching skills college instructional strategies
I really don't see a problem with interracial dating. I think what's important in finding a good partner is not the skin color, but rather the mutual values, goals, and interest. I think it's intimately up to each person to decide who they want to date. If a person wants to ONLY date withing their own race that's fine. However, if they want to go out of their own race that's fine also. I think in our society today, it is more accepted. I don't believe in settling for ANYONE just because a person is lonely. A person should find someone that they can relate to in all levels...if that means someone outside of the race, then that's fine.
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I have dated and have been engaged to men outside of my race. I do not want to paint a picture that all black men are unkind or unloving or not passionate but I have experience that men of other races seem to be more passionate and more caring. I am not speaking on an issue that I have read or heard about, this is a topic that I have lived and experience. I mean no disrespect to the black man but I find them not serious enough for a long term relationship.
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I understand you have experience and I would like to disagree with with the comment that black men arent serious enough. You have to be consider your mates cultural upbringings before getting into a serious relationship with them. Think about this for a second...Other race instill values in their children that are completely opposite of most African Americans. For instance, African Americans follow too many misconceived notions that you have to physically whoop your children in order to raise them right. Other cultures find whooping as abusive and chooses to not to discipline their children in that manner. As a black man, society has labeled me as a tough, thug, hoodlum, and its hard to fit into the social norms. So when I date a women, she have to endure my insecurities of never having much love, toughness, and misguided values that I was forced fed as a child, the many years of abuse from society that we as a black race would never excel in life. Caucasians for example are confident in themselves. how can a black man be 100% confident when he has to pause and think about rather he wants to mark (black not hispanic) on an application for a job or school? I feel enslaved everytime I am forced or asked that question in America. Why does race matter when it comes to getting an education, a job, applying for credit, and even buying a car? That is why your black men are incapable of loving you. Because they only know how to be what society has groomed them to be black women.
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I think that dating out side of your race is fine. I believe there is no color lines between anybody or anyone. If you fall in love with someone out side of your race it should not matter because its how you are loved by that person. It shouldn't matter everyone is different in there own way. If you fall in love with someone that is not your race and your family doesn't like it its not there choice. Maybe when you use to date and you stayed within your race but just wasn't working out because they were not making you happy. You might have kind of been pushed into dating your own race because your family didn't want you dating out side of your race. It shouldn't matter at all and don't understand why people make things so difficult on others.
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I don't see any problem with marring outside your race. Sometimes, you just can't find what you're looking for in men in your own race that makes you look outside the bubble and who know you may just get lucky and find the right mate. I say go for what you believe. Don't bother thinking what other people think because it can be frustrating. Just remember you're suppose to please yourself and not others. Enjoy life!
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I am from a time when interracial mingling was unheard of. If it was done it was very well hidden. When I was in high school this white boy liked me and I liked him but there was no way I would ever had gone out with him or anything else. I did not want to be ostracized by anyone. I eventually just let it be. Years later I learned he met and married a young black nurse from Chicago and he went on to college and became an Engineer. If I would have had the frame of mind that I have now I would have gone out with him. I have sometimes wondered about how much would my life had been if I had. I have six children, four girls and two boys. I have never made comments to any of them about who they should date. It would not bother me if their mates were of another color or race. My only concern would be that they are treated well.
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I have(2)in-laws couples,one married for 33 years, Arthur&Rosa with 2 adult adjusted children Arturo/Rosalinda. The
second couple Armando&Veronica has 2 girls and their union did not work out.
Veronica's family was against their union. Bitter split,remarried little contact. I believe with support, mixed
couples can be successful. Also, both has to be dedicated to each other and the relationship, us against the world.
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